Hipster Checklist

Oh, dear, some tracksuit wearing, commerce student mainstreamer has called you a Hipster! But you're not, are you? You begin to doubt. Have I been living a lie? Am I a Hipster?

Fortunately, we've compiled this handy Hipster Checklist.

If you identify with three or more of the following points, chances are, you're a Hipster. Deal with it. Embrace it. Become at one with your true sub-culture. The sub-culture of the gods. We have great hair.

1. Mirrors
You can't help but look at youself in every available reflective surface (e.g. shop windows, shiny shoes, spoons, macbook screens, your lovers eyes)


2. Hair

Enough said. Applies to both males and female hipsters. it also counts if you are close friends with someone who has this style.

3. Clothes

You have nice things like macbooks and iPhones, but tend to look like an impoverished waif on an op-shop binge, even though lots of your clothes come from expensive shops and American Apparel.

4. Music

Must be obscure and of multiple genres. The less known the better. As soon as something becomes popular you no longer like it, except in an ironic way.

5. Pretentiousness

You find, in general that you are much more stylish than the average person and are far more creative and unique, rejecting the label of ‘Hipster’ as you feel it pigeon-holes you and diminishes your individuality. You are also really globally aware and know heaps about issues and stuff (you once read an article about animal cruelty for a high school project).

6. Social life

You seem to be drawn to stand in front of your local American Apparel store, as it is a place where you can finally be you. All your friends are individuals too, but your outfits always seem to be co-ordinated, though not in a backstreet boys kind of way. All your friends could reasonably be classed as hipster, except for that one lame high-school friend who you hang out with because it reassures you that you are better than everyone you went to school with. Refer to point 5 for more on pretentiousness.

7. Hobbies

You are in a band, into subversive counter-culture art, writing songs and playing guitar. Although you may not follow through in doing any of these things you have created a sense of partaking in one or more of these activities. You like anything ‘underground’.

8. Transport

Anything old and rusty looking, be it car, bike or skateboard. Even your helmet is one of those dodgy looking 80’s ones, or a bowl-cut skater one, all worn with a large helping of irony. You might even rebel against the man (even though he pays for your centrelink money) and ride without your helmet strap done up.

9. IRONY

Every part of you life contains some aspect of irony. You wear ironic clothes, eat ironic foods like macdonalds (you’re taking down the man from inside) and do ironic things. This proves how cool you are and gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside. you may even have an ironic hipster moustache.

10. ‘That’s so Mainstream’

A simple test of hipsterdom – if you have ever said/thought ‘That’s so mainstream’, you ARE a hipster, no arguments.

But don’t worry, at least you’re not

TOTALLY MAINSTREAM!
Fucking teenyboppers.