gutter fashion goes global in 2010

usually when people would try to predict fashions, they would look to the traditional 'leaders' of style - designers, stylists, movie stars etc. which is all well and good, but personally I like my style tips a little less highbrow.

what follows is a list of my top four sources of new and inspiring fashions for the winter of 2010.

1. homeless people



homeless people are really good at pulling off the dishevelled look we all aspire to so much. they also have some really good vintage clothes, and a kick-arse attitude to match.

2. 80's teenagers



it's actually like looking into a mirror. but with slightly larger hair.

3. bogans



bogans do casual wear like no-one else can. while some may scorn their lax standards of dress, i see this more as an expression of their inner confidence and complete ease with their surrounds. truly a beautiful sight to behold. and their cars are always total chick magnets

4. my nan



honestly, what a chiller. works slippers and clip on earrings like no one else. teastament to the fact that a little bit of volumising hairspray and lippy can go a long way.

so there you have it, now get out there and show the lagerfelds and rachel zoes of the world how it's really done.

apologise to my arse.

Can someone tell me what is with us all bitching about how ugly everyone is? It’s terrible. Sure, people’s personality traits and annoying pastimes, drunken antics, fails at basic personal hygiene, fake tans, people’s ability to act like total douches, serial flirts, laziness, and horrible clothes can be very irritating. With so much gold to bitch about, what’s the point of insulting people’s bodies?

Unless someone has some skin disease and insists on wiping their flakes on you out of hate for the world there really is no excuse to go dissin’ someone’s birthday suit. So what if she has cellulite, you’re just jealous you don’t have the guts to wear a short dress like that. If that girl hasn’t shaved her legs, shock horror! You grow hair too! And actually go to the effort of shaving every day! Keep that up until you die. ‘..His nose looks like a potato.’ What is even the point of commenting on this? There is nothing he can do to change it except get someone to kick a soccer ball at his face multiple times and this could just possibly end badly. Alternatively, he could get plastic surgery but then you would probably laugh at him for being completely vain and then get jealous when he gets all the girls. If she has a fat arse and flabby arms, so what? That’s her body, you have one too. She probably comments on the fact that you have no tits. It’s karma baby.

The thing is, our bodies are the only true thing we own. Everything else can be lost, stolen, passed on, or given away. Everything else we can get bored with, grow out of or change. If you must bitch about a body, make it your own, that can be lots of fun! (Remember that scene from mean girls)

Anyway, the less time you spend bitching about people’s bodies, the more time you have for bitching about everyone’s favourite topic - sickeningly sweet couples in love. I don’t know about you but the use of baby names by educated adults is more than four times as vomit worthy than your ex best friend in tiny shorts, isn’t it? Byebyeee hunnibun, kisses! (blurgh).

the intro post.

we're pretty much bored of staring into shop windows at ourselves, so we thought we'd channel our creative energy into something worthwhile, useful, community minded.
but then we changed our minds.

hence the blog.

we're the black jelly beans in the lolly bag
and the green snakes

we probably drink too much coffee,
but we have to pass the time somehow and drugs are really expensive.